If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a woman who came in with a folder full of “songs she wrote this year” as well as diagrams and “stuff off the internet” of various vocal chord images and structures, human anatomy and the best part about it was that she couldn’t pronounce a single bit of it. Her outfit was just as bad. It looked as if she came right off the street (as if she’d been living there) with her big coat, ripped jeans and the knee-high black boots which the jeans were tucked into. When interviewed by Seacrest she called the Trachea (tray-key-ah), “TRAYSHEEA”! Maria and I rolled laughing! “Oh my god, did she actually say that?” Not only did she say it, but she meant every word of it. After Seacrest corrected her, she corrected him back by once again calling it the “TRAYSHEEA”. Other nice faux pas included her referring to the Larynx (lair-inks), as the “LARNIX” and uses of the prefix “mis” in just about every word where it’s not appropriate. Overall I would say the night was pretty weak. There are many more mediocre singers and “performers” getting through. I’m not sure what this says about American Idol… I do know what it says for my prediction… SPOT ON! so far. For the folks not aware of the Larynx joke… man I hope you know why we’re making such a big deal about it… Here is some information about the Larynx:

The larynx (plural larynges), colloquially known as the voicebox, is an organ in the neck of mammals involved in protection of the trachea and sound production. The larynx houses the vocal folds, and is situated just below where the tract of the pharynx splits into the trachea and the esophagus. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larynx

But enough of Kara…KA-RA, KAR-A… who gives a rip, really? Let’s talk about these people! Okay first off there were some talented singers in there. The blind guy was pretty cool… You have to chuckle at Ryan Seacrest when the blind guy came out and he tries to high-five the dude. The “out of the closet” fellow looked like a buddy of mine but could certainly sing well. One of the stand outs as far as the first episode was the pink haired, punky looking gal, Emily, who I think sang “Barracuda” by Heart. Great song and in my opinion a great audition. Plus she is in a band and has some experience. She could potentially be the next “rocker” chick on Idol, however we know from the last 7 years that the “rocker” chick never makes it.

The weirdos were definitely out in force as well. Starting with the wannabe rock star. I can only imagine this guys life after that was on last night. I think that the term “POSER” really fits here. I mean this guy was the epitome of poser. Never trained to sing, never put any work into a career except buying the rock star gear and dressing like a wanker. I felt bad for this dude and THEN he started to beg. Nothing worse than a bad signer begging to be on American Idol… well, except for BEING that singer. Michael Gurr was the Adam’s family looking guy with a very interesting voice. I don’t think that I could explain the sound, but Maria and I were laughing our butts off when he came on! The biggest flop of last night was the “soon-to-be-famous-for-nothing” bikini girl with the horribly nasal voice. She made it through with the help of Randy and Simon but was totally oblivious to the joke. Paula and Kara were appalled as they should have been but I really didn’t need to see Kara stand up and start scattin back and forth with the bikini bimbo to see who really has the best pipes. WE KNOW this chick can’t sing, don’t make it worse by looking as bad as the contestant (just a thought). Overall, I guess we both enjoyed it, but we are definitely looking forward to tonight’s episode and the non-stop train wreck that is American Idol.

In theory, if the current cycle of Idols continues to go as it has, it looks like we wont have another successful American Idol for another 2 years. Of course if American Idol keeps it’s musical instrument rule in tact there could be a well-received break from the not-so-hot history of Idol winners. Take a look below. I feel this is a pretty good representation of the winners so far:

• Season 1 – Kelly Clarkson :: Success
• Season 2 – Ruben Studdard :: Epic Fail
• Season 3 – Fantasia Barrino :: EPIC FAIL!
• Season 4 – Carrie Underwood :: Success
• Season 5 – Taylor Hicks :: Fail
• Season 6 – Jordin Sparks :: Fail
• Season 7 – David Cook :: Success

The other reason(s) Maria and I love Idol is watching Paula Abdul further self-destruct in her vapid, egocentric and fairly drunk or drugged commentary. I don’t think we watched an episode last year where we didn’t think, “What the heck is in that Coke cup?” Remember when the Idols did two songs and Paula critiqued BOTH of David Cook’s songs before the second one was even sung? Yeah, you can play off stupid as long as you want, Paula, but we know what’s really going on! We are looking forward to Paula’s sidekick Randy picking another term to abuse… “You’re a little pitchy, dawg”… and then for the two of them to always agree and gang up on Simon. Simon, which could be ascertained by some as the only reason to watch the show, will hopefully pull out even more this year while criticizing Paula. It’s become more apparent, to us at least, that Simon is on board with the rest of sane American in thinking Paula is a whack-job. This year we’ll also have a new judge. I’m not sure who she is but I had heard that she was a friend of Paula’s… I also heard that she is the potential replacement for Paula next year… will sparks fly? I hope so! What I really want from American Idol is a REAL person judge… like myself… (just throwing that out there). I’m far enough detached from being a super-fan and I’m more than familiar with good music to make a very good judgment on whether or not a person can entertain and be an American Idol. I’m sure we will keep everyone updated on the Idol progress and our GREAT opinions on the whole deal. Im sure I’ll have more tomorrow after we actually watch!